Thursday night, just before getting into bed, I took one last look at Tik Tok. The video that popped up was of a woman saying you can always tell when someone uses ChatGPT because of the em dash. She wasn’t trying to shame anyone. She was just expressing how everyone can tell when someone uses chatgpt because of this punctuation mark. She went on to encourage writers to make their work their own. Honestly, I didn't even finish the video because my heart started racing, embarrassment, guilt and even shame began to set in. This video triggered old wounds of self-worth, self-confidence, and trusting myself.
I started to reflect. I had noticed this dash only after I started using ChatGPT to help me edit my blog posts. I remember spotting it in my first post and wondering what it was, so I Googled it and found it to be a real, legit punctuation mark…just not one I had ever seen and certainly had not learned about in any grammar lesson. So I trusted ChatGPT knew the universal grammar rules and allowed it to remain in my posts, but I wanted to compare my original shitty first draft to this new edited one to see exactly where it was being used and what it was replacing in my original.
When I compared ChatGPT’s edits to my originals, I realized the em dash often replaced my “…”—a rhythm I naturally use when I’m pausing or trailing off, adding texture to my thoughts. I use “…” in texts too, so it has become part of my writing style. But the edited versions always had em dashes instead. I decided that sometimes I’d keep them and sometimes I reverted back. It became a blend of grammar and authenticity—what felt technically right versus what felt like me.
Shame, Spirals, and Self-Doubt
That TikTok hit me harder than I expected. As I watched, my heart dropped. My chest tightened. My palms got sweaty, and shame and panic crept in.
The thoughts came fast:
Everyone’s going to know I use ChatGPT.
They’ll think I’m a fraud.
That these aren’t really my ideas.
That I’m just using AI to crank out content.
I spiraled—until I remembered something important: I was transparent about using ChatGPT in my very first post. I’ve never claimed that this process was perfect or polished. Still, that em dash felt like a visual flag—a reminder that AI helped me shape my writing. And for a moment, I wondered… Is that wrong? Why am I feeling such shame?
Reclaiming Integrity and Authorship
That one TikTok led me into a deeper reflection—about my writing process, my values, and how I want to show up here.
Yes, I use ChatGPT. No, it doesn’t replace my voice. It helps me with grammar, punctuation, and usage—the parts of writing I’ve never felt confident in. And rather than hide that, I want to own it.
I even considered going back and deleting every em dash, replacing it with my original punctuation. But that felt dishonest—to you and to me. Why pretend? We can all sense when something isn’t real. So I decided to leave them. To show the messy middle. To remind myself that editing support doesn’t mean the ideas aren’t mine. But why did I have such a visceral reaction if I’m at peace with using ChatGPT as an editing tool?
The Old Beliefs, the Weeds, and the Wisdom
What struck me most was the reaction this seemingly small TikTok triggered. That deep-rooted voice came back: You’re not good enough. You’re not smart enough. You’re not a real writer.
It’s an old voice, one that’s lived in me since childhood. But now, at 45, I can name it. Now I can notice these old limiting beliefs and when they surface, I acknowledge them…but I don’t give them the time and power I used to. I know that when they show themselves to me, I am meant to pause and dig into what is happening for me.
In the past, those beliefs felt like thick roots anchoring themselves in the soil of my being…my soul. Now, after years of therapy and self-reflection, they’re more like weeds…popping up from time to time with shallow roots. They can no longer infiltrate my soil, my psyche. I can pull them out when they appear. Weeding my inner garden,
I used to think weeds were bad, but even weeds have a purpose, and no garden is truly ever rid of the weeds that grow. So too is true of our limiting beliefs.
A dandelion is considered a weed. Dandelions were once my wish-makers as a child. I have so many fond memories of picking those whispy weeds, closing my eyes, making a wish and blowing away their puffs of seeds…not knowing then, but now I know that those seeds plant new weeds elsewhere. Similar to limiting beliefs…they never truly go away, they’ll show up in new ways at new ages and situations.
So maybe those doubts aren’t here to ruin me. Maybe they’re here to teach me—to remind me that I can discern. That I am growing. I’m learning how to weed my garden so my other plants can grow with plenty of room and not overgrown with too many dandelions. And enough, Tik Tok was the small nudge I needed to remind myself of this.
Technology, Teens, and Trusting Ourselves
I believe in the nuanced relationship between humans and evolving technologies like ChatGPT. I’m not for or against their use. But I am for intentionality.
These tools are part of our culture now, like smartphones. They’re not going away. So the question becomes: How do we use them responsibly? For adults who are willing to pause, reflect, and face discomfort, there’s room to use AI with discernment and integrity—as a support, not a replacement for creativity or intuition.
As a mom to two teenage boys, I’m mindful of how AI is shaping their world too. Their brains are still developing. They need to learn all components of writing, not just how to develop their ideas, but how to edit their pieces. And maybe this is transforming because of AI and technology? I don’t have all the answers, but I do know that they need guidance—not just technical, but emotional. They need to be taught to trust themselves. To notice what resonates and what doesn’t. To listen to that inner knowing we all have…and to apply those internal tools when using technology.
As an adult I have the wisdom and life experience, patience and developed discernment to make appropriate and responsible choices with how to incorporate AI into my life and writing. At this time, it helps me edit these blog posts. It catches grammatical errors I would otherwise miss, but I have never…and will never…give all of my power over to ChatGPT and just allow it to write for me. I see what it spits out to me when it does take the liberty to rearrange or revise my pieces, and it’s not me. It has a sanitized or generic feel…kind of like microwave meals versus homemade. They’re both food, but homemade meals are waaaayyyyy better than anything you buy at the grocery store and microwave. You get the point! I just want to reassure all my readers…these posts are mine. Start to finish. It has never been and will never be—input ideas into ChatGPT and get a new blog post…ever.
Interestingly, I have begun to see this em dash everywhere!! So is everyone using AI to edit their pieces, or are they using the em dash because they learned about this punctuation earlier in their lives than I did? This leads me to maybe the heart of all of this…trust.
Does it matter to me if recent publications use ai to edit their pieces? No.
Would it bother me if I learned that a source I trusted and loved used AI to write their entire pieces and were completely generated using AI? YES!
I wouldn’t trust that writer anymore and I would feel lied to and manipulated.
So this is all really about trust. That's the root. AI isn’t going anywhere, and it's pushing all of us to deepen our relationship with our intuition…our inner knowing. It’s inviting us to trust ourselves more fully, to trust ourselves and others more consciously. Even when we can't be certain, we can still feel the truth of something…and that feeling, that knowing, is something we can trust…we have to trust.
Stay Open, Stay Grounded
There are moments in life—a TikTok, a conversation, a memory—that stay with us. My aunt once told me after a breakup: “You’re going to break hearts, and your heart will be broken too. That’s part of life.” That truth stayed with me, and I have passed this on to my boys. I cannot remember what else we talked about, but that nugget of wisdom stayed with me all these years.
My point is, these seemingly small, insignificant moments can be our teachers. Quiet whispers from the universe to give yourself a pause. Just like this TikTok did. It triggered something real and became a catalyst for reflection.
Maybe I am over-explaining here. But maybe that’s okay. Maybe it’s my way of holding space for discomfort so I can return to self-trust.
I’m confident in my voice, and I’m okay with how I use ChatGPT for now. One day I might pivot. But that will be my decision. This is a collaboration—not a surrender of power.
So here’s to the small moments that jolt us. To the weeds we once wished on. And to the beautiful complexity of showing up honestly—especially in a world of AI, algorithms, and evolving tools.
Let’s keep asking ourselves the hard questions, even if we don’t always know the answers. Let’s have the courage to dig a little deeper when we get those nudges…or Tik Toks that make our hearts race. And most importantly, being honest with ourselves, each other and our world.
Until next time,
Lauren
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