Flow – Part 1: The Physical and Practical
What does it mean to ebb and flow...
The Flow of This Blog
This post—this idea—literally started flowing out of me. Like whack—a lightning bolt to the brain: Write about flow.
It came from somewhere beyond me, into my mind, through my fingers, to the keyboard, into Google Docs, onto Substack and Instagram, and now into your device, your eyes, your brain.
And how fun to think—maybe something I write will begin to flow into your life, too.
After rereading, revising, adding, and omitting, I realized this needed to be a two-part post... maybe even three?! We’ll see how Part 2 unfolds.
But for today, this is Part 1: Flow—the physical and practical.
This is about how I first became aware of flow—what it means to me, how it feels when I’m in it, and what it’s like when I’m not.
I want to share my experience of energetic flow in everyday life—the practical, productive moments when things just click—and the frustrating times when I feel stuck. Blocked. Frozen.
The Energy of Flow – The Ebb and Flow of Life
Here in Part 1, I’m focusing on the flow of energy—in relationships, conversations, ideas, in physical movement (like running, yoga, or exercise), and in the practical sense of momentum and productivity—and how all of it ebbs and flows throughout life.
I’m talking about those moments when something fills you up, lights you up, and literally energizes you. Life is flowing, and you feel that boost, that rush of endorphins.
For me, this can happen in big ways and small ones. It might last a few minutes or stretch into hours, even days. I can jump in and out of flow, sometimes without even realizing it.
As I mentioned earlier, Part 2 will explore flow through more of a mystical lens—looking at natural flows like moon cycles, the seasons, and other rhythms we witness in nature…even connecting it to the very natural menstrual cycle some of us experience each month. I’m excited to explore how all of these cycles flow and connect to our intuition, truth, and deep inner knowing.
How do we listen to those whispers and nudges that guide us into (and out of) flow? How do we notice and bring awareness to the cycles happening all around us—and within us? How do we honor the ebbs—the pauses, pivots, and hard stops?
And maybe… just maybe… everything I’m describing here in Part 1 is actually rooted in something mystical—a universal rhythm, destiny, or fate guiding us all.
Side note: Part 2 is for all genders, so please don’t dismiss or skip it if you don’t have a uterus😉. Flow is for everyone and happens to everyone in lots of ways.
What It Means to Ebb and Flow
So what does it mean to “ebb and flow”? I can assure you we all experience this whether we are aware of it or not. I believe it is a natural occurrence that we both have control over and have no control over…depending on how conscious we are to it or even care to notice.
I did a little research and found a definition and some examples that resonated with me. Here you go:
Ebb and flow describes the natural rhythm of movement, like the tides of the ocean (more in Part 2) sometimes rising, sometimes retreating. It represents the cycles of expansion and contraction, energy and rest, creation and stillness that exist in every aspect of life.
The Ebb (Receding, Withdrawing)
A time of slowing down, reflecting, or feeling blocked.
A natural pause where things feel quieter, less certain, or even frustrating.
The part of the cycle where we gather energy, rest, and integrate before the next wave of momentum.
The Flow (Surging, Expanding)
When ideas, creativity, and productivity pour out effortlessly.
Feeling aligned, energized, and like things are just working.
A time of action, movement, and trust in the process.
To me, ebb and flow are what create balance. We’re not meant to always be “on,” and we’re not meant to always be still. We need both—moments of retreat to rest and recharge…and moments of momentum to move, build, and create.
I’m finally learning to trust these rhythms—to stop resisting the ebb and stop trying to force the flow.
This blog has awakened something in me. As I look back on my life, I can now clearly see the seasons of ebb and flow—and how hard I was on myself.
But not anymore. I’m in my soft era now—softening with myself, and with others.
The Flow of Writing: How This Blog Was Born
There have been multiple times over the years when Kevin has said, You should write a book. And I’d think… About what?
After nearly 18 years of marriage, it’s safe to say Kevin finds me interesting—quirky (in a good way), funny, insightful. I used to shy away from this part of me, but now I love this part and fully embrace my quirks.
He saw something in me that I didn’t yet see in myself. That’s the beauty of certain relationships—the people who know us and love us deeply and unconditionally can sometimes see parts of us that we haven’t yet recognized within ourselves. And so, unbeknownst to either of us, he got the ball rolling. He planted the seed.
The old Lauren would have thought, Who am I to write something people would actually want to read? The self-doubt would have taken over—and I would’ve let it.
Even when Kevin told me I should write—and something deep inside me lit up—I still stuffed the idea down…and kept stuffing it.
Pish posh, I’d say, and wave it away.
In a way, I was choosing to stay in the “ebb”—stuck and blocked by a lack of confidence—rather than taking a chance on myself to see if something might actually flow.
Because sometimes, we don’t know if something is meant to be—or meant to work—until we try. Until we take action.
And because of this blog—because I chose to start it, and it began flowing out of me—I’ve realized something important: stuffing down our gifts and ideas, for whatever reason, is what blocks flow.
Sometimes it feels easier to ignore or avoid the parts of ourselves we aren’t sure about—because facing them can be scary.
Writing anything publicly felt terrifying. But I know myself, and I knew that once I opened this door and walked through it, I’d be all in. I’d put my whole self on the page—open, vulnerable, deep, and weird—for all to see, interpret…and judge. And I’m finally ok with that. The desire to write and share became stronger than my fear.
And here I am.
Kevin had been dropping these little nudges throughout our life together for years. But recently, the nudges started coming from other people, too.
When Kev got sick this fall, I was emailing with my former boss—an absolutely amazing woman— filling her in on everything happening in our lives. I shared what we were going through and how I was feeling.
She wrote back and said, You should write this down.
Again, I paused. I noted it. Her words lit me up and it stayed with me.
The seed was growing. Write.
My vision board this year is mostly made up of words. (Old me would NEVER have shared my vision board publicly… but here I am—what the hell—shedding the self-doubt bit by bit.)
A few of my friends also create yearly vision boards, and we were sharing ours with each other. I hesitated to share mine at first because it wasn’t the typical collage of images. So I texted them: “Words keep circling my orbit… maybe one day I’ll write a book, or a book of essays. Who knows 🤷🏻♀️.”
And they responded simply but it was powerful to me: “Do it. Write!!”
I felt so supported and loved by them—because their encouragement was real and true. These are friends I’ve known for over 30 years, and I know they wouldn’t blow smoke up my ass just to say what they thought I wanted to hear.
They saw something in me, too. They knew I could do it.
Another nudge.
So I did it—I opened a new Google Doc titled “book” and just started writing.
In early February, my mom, sister, and I went to see a local medium (the same one I mentioned in Post #5). The three of us were in a room together, and the medium rotated between us as she received messages.
She turned to me and said, “Are you a writer? Are you writing something?”
Boom. 💥 Chills.
I smiled and giggled, completely taken aback by her ability to know that. I told her about my “book.”
She looked at me and said, “Do it. Keep writing.”
It felt like confirmation from the universe.
I’d been holding onto these nudges from the people in my life for a reason—and here was another major one.
The last nudge came from my beautiful sister-in-law on February 14th—just two days before I published my first blog post. She and her mom had also gone to see the same medium a few days earlier, so we were swapping stories. I told her how the medium had said I should write, and how I had just started my “book.”
The next day, she texted me and said she thought I should start a blog.
And it hit me like a bolt of lightning—I knew I had to do it. This was it. I was going to start writing.
I finally listened. And the moment I did, the flow happened. It was like a light switched on and the path appeared in front of me. I wasn’t blocked anymore.
I went from thinking about writing…to writing. I went from I don’t know what to do…to starting a blog in one day.
It flowed. And it felt so good.
That’s when I knew—I was in my truth. I was following something real…because it was flowing through me.
I share all of these details about the blog and how it flowed for me because I’ve never had something like this before or felt this type of flow…this creative outlet. It took me years of nudges until I finally took the leap and trusted myself.
Flow in My Life
I’ve felt productive flow in different ways.
When I was teaching I could feel when my lessons were on point, my students were engaged, my classroom was organized, and grading wasn’t piling up—it felt good.
At home I feel flow when organizing, cleaning, purging, and making our home cozy—there’s a flow to that. When I’m in this type of flow it’s like I’m buzzing! Just bopping around the house listening to music and getting shit done.
Cooking. This is another one that is VERY inconsistent for me. The nightly grind of “What’s for dinner?” is an energy suck. But when I’m in the food flow, I love it. It feels good and nourishing for me and my family. It feels very satisfying to me when the fridge and pantry is stacked and I have a meal plan for the week…it actually helps me flow in other areas of my life when this happens.
Exercise and rest. The ebb and flow of these two affect everything in my life. For me, they’re both pretty inconsistent, I don’t have a great routine. But when I am in a good grove with exercise, it feels so good…I have more energy, more focus, and just feel more grounded. As for rest, I’ve learned to honor this when my body and mind need it. And honestly?! I’m someone who requires a lot of rest🤪…I’m finally learning to be okay with that.
I’ve stopped shaming myself for being “lazy” and started seeing rest as something essential, not something to feel guilty about. It’s simply part of the ebb and flow of life.
And relationships. There’s a natural ebb and flow with all relationships. I feel this with Kevin and the boys. When we are totally in sync and when we need space from each other. I’ve noticed this in friendships too. Flow in relationships has its own special kind of energy. We can feel it in conversations and how we communicate with each other, the things we do to support one another and help, the boundaries we set, and the way we take care of ourselves all contribute to the ebb and flow of relationships.
What Blocks Flow
We do—and we don’t.
Sometimes, we're the ones blocking our own flow. It can be a choice. We decide not to listen to our inner knowing for a variety of reasons—fear, doubt, discomfort.
And then, there are times when life itself pulls us out of flow—when things happen that are completely out of our control. That’s when we feel stuck and frustrated.
Other times, we’ve made choices, and the consequences of those choices lead us to a block…a new obstacle.
In those moments, we have the opportunity to pause—to acknowledge what’s happening and surrender to the ebb.
Maybe the block is here as a lesson—a sign to rest, reflect, and possibly reassess our boundaries…to learn something new about ourselves.
Because if we don’t listen, our energy can get totally zapped. We have to protect that energy so we can stay open and ready when flow returns.
The flows fill us up. The ebbs remind us to pause.
I’ve learned to pay attention to the subtle shifts—the feelings of ebb and flow, of rest and energy. And I’ve realized: it’s not binary. It’s not just “in flow” or “out of flow.” There’s a whole range of experience between the two.
And that’s the beauty of life.
You can feel the flow. You can feel the blocks. And all those in-between moments—the doubt, the stillness, the stirring, the little sparks—that’s what life is made of.
One of my favorite quotes that remind me to flow is:
Final Thoughts: Honoring the Flow
Flow is always there—moving, shifting, and shaping our lives. Sometimes we are fully in it, feeling aligned, creative, productive, and energized. Other times, we are in the ebb, where things slow down, obstacles appear, and we feel stuck. But both are necessary and both teach us things about ourselves.
Ebb and flow are not separate forces; they are partners in the rhythm of life. The key is learning to recognize them, honor them, and trust that movement will return when the time is right.
I used to resist the ebb. I would push, force, or try to control it—thinking that if I wasn’t productive, if I wasn’t doing something, I was failing. But I’ve learned that the pause, the stillness, the moments of discomfort are part of the process, too. Without them, we wouldn’t recognize the flow when it comes.
This blog, this journey into writing—it was the creative flow I needed. It was waiting for me. I just had to listen. And when I finally did, it all poured out.
And that’s the beautiful, sometimes frustrating, but ultimately powerful truth: Flow is not something we create. It’s something we surrender to.
We don’t force it. We don’t chase it. We allow it.
Whether it’s the simple (yet often challenging for me😜) tasks like cooking and exercising, or the creative rush of writing, the productivity of an organized home, and the deep connection in a relationship—flow is always guiding us. We just have to pay attention.
Looking Ahead to Part 2
If Part 1 has been about recognizing flow in its practical and physical forms, Part 2 will take us deeper. This is the part of ebbing and flowing that truly lights me up!! I want to explore the mystical side—the unseen forces that guide us, the intuitive whispers that gently nudge us, and the ways we can tune in to the natural cycles of creativity, energy, and life itself.
Because maybe… just maybe… flow isn’t just something we experience.
Maybe it’s something bigger.
Maybe it’s calling us.
And the real question is: Are we willing to listen?
✨ Stay tuned for Part 2. ✨
See you soon,
Lauren